Modern Romance: The Couple Who Loved (Each Other’s Posts) Out Loud

In a groundbreaking display of modern romance, couple Jessica and Kyle have decided to communicate exclusively through social media comments, and of course, consistently liking each other’s posts. Why have a private conversation when you can declare your love through carefully curated emojis and ‘haha’ reacts, right?

“It’s More Authentic This Way”

Jessica, a self-proclaimed ‘Instagram Influencer’ with a following of 123 people (mostly family members and Kyle’s friends), believes that communicating through comments is a genuine way of showing love. “It’s all about that public display of affection. If I didn’t tag Kyle in that funny cat video, how would he – and all our followers – ever know I care?”

Kyle, an avid Twitter user, concurs. “When I tweet, ‘Just ate a sandwich #blessed,’ and Jess instantly replies with, ‘Love you honey! But remember, we’re gluten-free this week!’ it just warms my heart. Also, it reminds me to avoid bread.”

#RelationshipGoals or #TooMuchInformation?

While many of their friends have muted their frequent exchanges, a devoted faction of fans (mostly bots) cheer on their virtual love story. “I don’t need to watch soap operas anymore. I just tune into Jessica and Kyle’s Twitter thread,” claims one bot named @RealHuman1234.

Yet, there are skeptics.

“Why don’t they just text each other?” questions Tom, a friend of the couple and an advocate for, as he puts it, “not broadcasting every moment of your personal life.” Apparently, Tom misses the beauty of receiving notifications every 2 minutes detailing Jessica and Kyle’s avocado toast adventures.

Bringing “Intimacy” to The Feed

In perhaps their most daring move yet, the couple has taken to sharing their most intimate moments online. No, not those moments. Think: screen recordings of their shared Google calendar (Date night! Dentist appointments!) or livestreams of their joint meal planning. If that’s not love, what is?

The Future is Comment-able

As Jessica and Kyle approach their anniversary, the online community waits with bated breath: Will they exchange gifts in person or simply pin wish lists to each other’s Pinterest boards?

Regardless, the digital world has learned one key lesson from these pioneers: Nothing says “I love you” like a well-timed, publicly displayed, heart-react.

Disclaimer: This article is satirical and meant for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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