Employee Proud and Excited to Be Working with a Company that Supports Diversity

In an unexpected turn of events today, Julie Heartstring, an employee at Generic Co., voiced her overwhelming pride at being associated with a company that “truly values diversity.” This groundbreaking statement comes as a surprise to many, considering that we are living in 2023, where championing diversity is pretty much the norm.

“I just feel so fortunate,” gushed Julie, as she sipped on her soy-macadamia-cashew fusion latte. “At Generic Co., we’ve always been ahead of the curve. Why, just last week, we hired someone who openly admitted to preferring dark chocolate over milk chocolate. It’s the little differences we celebrate!”

Generic Co., with its long-standing history of almost hiring a diverse range of people from all backgrounds once every blue moon, is nothing short of a trailblazer in the diversity movement. The fact that they have a single poster in the break room that says “All Are Welcome Here” next to the antiquated coffee machine is a testament to their commitment.

“I knew we were truly diverse when we had our first ever potluck,” Julie beamed. “We had cuisines from all over the office floor: microwaveable lasagna, store-bought guacamole, and even a questionable tuna salad! It’s a melting pot, really.”

Sources inside the company whisper that the recent declaration might be in connection with the annual “Diversity for Dummies” award. However, no one can deny Generic Co.’s authentic efforts. Last year, they introduced the wildly successful ‘Dress As Your Favorite Decade Day,’ which was, in their words, “a raging success at showcasing time-based diversity.”

To top it all, Julie emphasized how Generic Co. is a beacon for gender diversity. “We’re incredibly inclusive. Why, just the other day, we were discussing the possibility of considering the installation of a third gender-neutral restroom. It’s on the agenda for our 2025 annual general meeting!”

So here’s to Generic Co. and its trailblazing ways. As the rest of the corporate world races to implement concrete measures to ensure a diverse and inclusive workplace, it’s heartwarming to see that some are content with just patting themselves on the back for the bare minimum. Cheers to diversity in the 21st century!

Disclaimer: This article is satirical and meant for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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