The Epidemic of the “Not-So-Close-Friend” Suggestion Syndrome

In the vast, perplexing world of friendships, there is a baffling phenomenon that’s been sweeping the nation – the epidemic of the “Not-So-Close-Friend” Suggestion Syndrome, or NSCFSS. It’s that obscure pal from high school, or a friend who is not so much a friend anymore, for obvious reasons, suddenly popping into your DMs with a chirpy, “Hey! We should catch up soon!”. You may even bump into them unexpectedly and the “We should catch up!” cry bellows out. Then they vanish, like a ghost who’s bad at ghosting.

Understanding NSCFSS: A Brief Introduction

NSCFSS typically occurs when two individuals, who once shared a fleeting moment of camaraderie, or they may have been closer friends in a past life, mutually decide that rekindling their bond will somehow change their lives. Or, in most cases, when one of them just wants to look good on social media.

The hallmark of NSCFSS is the prompt absence of any follow-up. It’s the modern-day equivalent of “I’ll call you,” without the intention (or phone).

The Science Behind It

Leading scientists, after much deliberation, have come to the consensus that the phenomenon is closely related to the “Planus Cancelus” virus. It begins with an innocent “Let’s make plans!” but quickly mutates into “Oops, something came up!”. The symptoms include excessive use of flaky phrases, and an allergic reaction to commitment.

Surviving the NSCFSS Pandemic

If you find yourself on the receiving end of an NSCFSS interaction, fret not! Here are some recommended coping mechanisms:

1. The Mirror Effect: Respond with an equally enthusiastic “Totally! Let’s do it!” and then never bring it up again.

2. The Time Capsule: Mark your calendar for 2075 and send them a reminder. “Hey, is this a good time?”

3. The Optimist: Hold onto hope. Maybe they’re just getting their ducks in a row. Or maybe they’re just buying a new pen to return to you after all these years.

In Conclusion

While the “Not-So-Close-Friend” Suggestion Syndrome might sound like a dire situation, it’s essential to remember that in this age of digital connections, sometimes a “Let’s catch up” is just a new-age nod – a way to acknowledge that you still exist in their digital Rolodex.

So, the next time you receive an unexpected ‘catch up’ suggestion, give a nod, a wink, and move on, preferably to hang out with friends who actually call.

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